"Don't be unequally yoked" How many times have we heard this used in dating or marrying a non-believer. The ramifications for dating a non-christian are huge. Marrying a non-believer are even bigger. I think too many times we make unwise decisions in who we date. We want to hope that that person will become a follower of Jesus. We justify it by saying maybe we are the tool to get them saved. And all the while we know that it is an unwise decision. What I believe happens is when we are dating an unbeliever, there is a part of us that is craving a spiritual leader. So for us women we find a spiritual boyfriend along with our regular boyfriend. A relationship than is formed with this other person to fulfill our spiritual need. While all the while we are dating another person who is fulfilling our physical, emotional and friendship need. ANd the person who is the spiritual boyfriend suffers.
Does it then make sense that we should never date an unbeliever? A boyfriend and potential husband needs to fill all those needs especially the spiritual one.
I have been married to my spiritual boyfriend for over 16 years. I can't imagine what it would be like if he didn't believe in Jesus.
Thoughts?!
9 comments:
yep, glad we're meeting wednesday... haha..
"Lord! Lord! Let us in!
Don't you recognize us?"
(This phrase is uttered by BELIEVERS, for they call Him Lord.)
He replies: "GET AWAY from me. I NEVER knew you", and slams shut the gates of heaven.
People who date unequally yoked, or worse, marry unequally yoked, are not believers.
Believers follow the Master's Word.
The rest fill up the pews.
Our society does not teach Dating 101. Most folks blissfully settle for the first person who has the insight and wisdom to find them acceptable.
Churches and parents are just as unlikely to teach dating as well.
That is where peers come in, and mix up the outcome.
But if you can find a genuine believer in Christ, you've got a keeper!
Pretty tough to find them today.
Christ had the 72.
Out of the 72, He had His 12.
Out of the 12, 3 were special.
Of the 3, one was beloved.
This is a good cue for dating....still.
I agree Diane, that the time to think about these things is while you are dating. So many women (and men) think they are going to change the person and actually, the opposite happens. The time to make wise choices is BEFORE you get married.
However, I would caution Danny from casting such an extreme judgement about people who sometimes stumble into sin. I'm a pastor's wife and yet, I still stumble and sin from time to time. Based on his comment, I guess I'm one of those who are going to have the door slammed in my face! :-(
I love the Lord; I follow Him; I try to obey Him but I sometimes mess up.
You are correct Terri.
I do not place a premium on any person's position in life as a qualifier to heaven. Tho, many people feel there are some who are holier than others. I detect no difference in a deacon and a back row sitter. Brothers...and sisters....if believers in Christ.
That is dangerous water.
But since the Bible quote I mentioned above clearly refers to believers (as opposed to non believers), then a system has been set up by Christ that announces people who BELIEVE they are belivers are in for a royal surprise in the end times.
Either that, or Christ was just joshing and did not mean one word I mentioned in the opening quote above.
Your call.
If anything, church leadership will likely be held to a higher standard of judgment than anything I could dream up.
Paul bluntly tells us: "Stop sinning".
I cannot imagine he would place that as an inspired word of God and truth.....
unless it was a possibility we could achieve as we grow in Christ.
Diane opened with yoke, equally and unequally. If you are a believer and choose to disobey what you know is truth from the Lord and date unequally yoked to a nonbeliever, there is a consequence to that decision.
I did not make the rules.
You need to take that judgement of my statement up....with the one who made those rules for our protection.
David did fine until he yoked with Bathsheba. The wage of that adultery and murder was death to the child.
Grace prevailed and a new son, Solomon was authored by God.
The same grace is available to all.
But the judgment of the sin is not removed one iota.
I found it interesting that David is in the direct lineage of Christ. Yet, at the Transfiguration, he was no where around.
Diane wisely noted being unequaly yoked and asked should we even date a nonbeliever.
If you want to test the words of the bible I quoted, I can't think of a better way than to marry a nonbeliever.
Both of you will lead your lives unequally yoked and become 2 unbelievers, 2 believers, or remain the same as in entry to marriage.
The entire family, however, will look like David's family after the entry of Bathsheba.
It was, and is, the epitome of dysfunctional family.
While I would love to cling to your premise Terri, I believe that our churches are finding empty pews, because the leadership no longer tells the truth, especially on matters like this that are fundamental to every man and woman.
Everyone dates, few Biblically, And the church is as silent as a lamb on the entire process.
My statement in no way judges pastor's wives, although I personally believe pastors and their wives to be no more holy than anyone in the audience or on the streets outside. But I think a lot of those people do believe it.
Joel Osteen's wife is continually in the news bringing shame to the kingdom of Christ in her personal behavior. She tops it off with lawsuits and love of money.
Are she and Joel equally yoked? I dunno.
Does she bring folks closer to, or further from Christ? Easy call.
I think Diane has raised a powerful topic, because it involves everyone. We all want relationship. The response is a shock to me that so few people comment here, and desire dialog on the nuances of getting it right, as we were led to do by Christ.
On yoke truth, you need look no further than the inordinate number of women, as compared to men, in church any week.
We need one local church to cut through all the "family"-ism that drives nontraditional families to church shop endlessly for acceptance.
The best I have seen to date is in Willoughby, Ohio on the last exit of I-90 before the road heads south around Cleveland.
Get off I-90 and go south 3 miles. About 3,000 to 4,000 singles, divorced, single parents, step families, basically any combination of family but the nuclear God designed, are present and lifting each others lives. Lots of grace over there.
And Terri, as you stumble into sin sometimes as you state, it goes back to Diane's premise. Equally yoked. If your husband is a believer, your stumble is carried by him and you recover promptly. If he is not a believer due to unequal yoke, your stumble is far more difficult to overcome.
Diane is spot on that the choice you make for a life partner is such that as the years go by, it is impossible to imagine life (and all its frailties) without an equal yoke partner to assist.
I will reread the quoted passage to see if I misread what was being said to believers who will NOT enter the Kingdom of God since He never knew them. They THINK they are believers.
Last, Diane, your blog scrolls public forums and appears open to comment.
I do not blog. I comment at quality sites and avoid the rest. You tend to accept comments without a need to comment on them, judge them, or define parts of the comment minutely. I personally appreciate that as I think all comments speak for themselves.
If this is a women's only spot, (common practice in protestant circles under a false notion), simply note that and I will be happy to move my comments down the road. I have only seen this blog since the election in November and do not know the history.
Your husband linked this site, but made no mention it was a ladies room only.
I presume it is open to dialog, discussion, learning, growth, and love.
It's a good blog.
"I will reread the quoted passage to see if I misread what was being said to believers who will NOT enter the Kingdom of God since He never knew them. They THINK they are believers."
Just for the record, I agree with you Danny. I just think you are coming on awfully strong and to be honest, sound like you are the judge and jury of all people.
It's probably the limitations of cyberspace.
Diane, sorry for hijacking your comment section! ;-)
Naw, it is just "guy" communication.
I, too, will try to become more abstact and confusing..... a comment I recently read,....
that made me laugh out loud, for its simple truth.
I read it here first:
Diane critiques my one on one communication skills…
Posted on November 23, 2008 by Jason Pauli
Diane: “Your problem is that you’re too blunt and to the point.”
Me: “So I should be more abstract and confusing when I talk to people?”
Diane: “Yeah.”
Both: Smiles and laughter…
Perhaps there is a little Jason in me, Terri. :)
Love Danny and Diane's comments. Glad you're tough Danny. I too am frustrated by the lack of holy living by people who say they are believers. They don't want to take up their cross daily and do the hard work. So they lose out on God's best for them.
Thank you for your kind words, Di.
Just for clarification,
please note this line above:
"Posted on November 23, 2008 by Jason Pauli "
The conversation was between a husband/wife combo. I just quoted it in response to another point of view here.
This post is not only on holy living, intimacy, and genuine believers, it reflects truisms on the Church today.
We are busy every night of the week at Church with one thing or another. I do not see Christ acting that way in the Gospels.
Further, no mother would turn her baby upside down and drop them on their head. But, we nurse kids through church life, have elementary programs, and teen programs.
Once they become "baby" adults, we simply turn them upside down on their heads at church and drop 'em. The unequal yoke of which Diane spoke originally is rarely brought up in "after high school" anything at church.
In the next dozen years, most folks will make a match, on faulty basis and thinking, or just hormones at play.
People come back to church once they have children and want to start the cycle anew. What a mess by that time.
So we have divorce recovery, addiction get-together, and myriad "programs" on our "to do" list, to patch up a mess that resulted from not getting the right message of Christ originally.
Diane Pauli has pinpointed a key area of life that would preclude all those later repairs if followed first. Find a believer and exclude the rest. Less pain; great gain.
The conversation between Diane and Jason was only quoted by me as an alternate possibility to the charge of hijacking a comments area.
Those are good conversations between equally yoked believers.
Sadly, when the youth now go to college, even the Christian colleges are no different than secular in guiding the 20 somethings to healthy spiritual choices. It is amazing to me that they make it to 30 unscathed by life.
There is a gap in churchianity after age 18 that leaves the sheep open to wolves.
If you know of a local church that is the least bit interested in following Jesus Christ, I sure would like the name of it. In the community, HE is often easier for me to spot outside of church.
But then, that was true in His three year ministry too, eh?
"Of the 3, one was beloved."
Jesus was gay!
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